Is this really <<a community primarily for folks of color>>? I'd check the description on this tribe's main page. To say that when white people participate in this tribe it's "colonization" could squelch any possibility of productive dialogue. I'll grant that, as it's been brought up before, the most important thing for white people to do here is listen, but that mean that speaking up (in any way) is taking over someone else's space.

I didn't realize this community was about anyone "being in charge".

I thought this community was to discuss ways to deal with racism in our larger LGBTQ community and to try to find ways to deal with that.

The absent person of color has actually participated in the thread, btw. They are not absent, they just probably understand that sometimes in dealing with racism white people have to talk to other white people, especially when they, a person of color, has already tried.

Perhaps I am wrong and people would prefer this to be a place where people of color are "in charge" (whatever that means) and white people should not initiate discussions or follow them where they go. Perhaps it should not be a place where white people and people of color try to work together on these issues. I try very hard to respect the voices and tales and experiences of people of color on this tribe, as I do in most places. My attempt was not to take away from the voice of POC, but actually to hear from them and other whites on how to talk about something I saw as racism in ways that were different from the ways I was already trying that weren't working.

I did not intend to have my thread turn into a dissection of another thread and solely a back and forth between me and Domina, and I do understand why many/most people of color would not wish to participate when it turned into that, but it has been a good place for two white people who reach alot of ears to be able to hash out what might have been done differently in making a person of color feel more listened to in the future. To try to bring new options in creating welcoming and less alienating spaces.

This tribe has been an INCREDIBLE learning tool for me and helped me more than most other resources to learn how to try to be a white ally in ending racism and a white supremacist culture. I feel like I'm a much more sensitive person for having spent alot of time on here where people of color have been willing to take the time and energy to have real conversations about race with me and other whites who are starting on the bottom floor of understanding what impact race and white assumptions and actions have on their lives. I also learn from other white folks who participate here. From our sharing our mistakes as much as from our other aspects of interaction.

Perhaps I have something more to learn. What do you actually mean when you accuse me of colonizing this space? The only thing I can think of is you think I should have had this discussion in private, but I don't agree. The discussion became a multi-way discussion between Khadija, Domina, and I, with others adding imput. That would not be possible in another format, due to geography and technology limitations.

I also very much thank Lorenzo and M for being willing to say something about why people of color feel attacked. It's something I've heard before, but it is good to be reminded. And rereminded that if I have heard it before that means it probably happens all the time. I do not experience what people of color experience. I can only learn from them when they speak of what life is like for them. That is why I read things like bell hooks, and listen to mumia abu jamal and read the other links recommended here. And why I keep asking questions of those who are willing to read and answer those questions.